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Welcome to my blog! This is my journey, my first steps into the world of fictional writing. This blog is an online journal of sorts, where I share the progress of my work as well as what I have learned along the way. I hope you enjoy your time with me and that my experience may be of some use to you.

Friday, March 18, 2016

BOOTCAMP LESSON 12: Cutting Back

Welcome back!

    After completing this months book review, I was reminded of the importance of one of my earlier lessons; word economy. Since the subject was brought back on the table, I decided it would great to make it the focus of this month's writing prompt.

Cutting the fat!

Lesson 12 - Cutting back

The point of Word Economy is not to cut back on what you are trying to say, but to reduce the amount of words needed to convey the same message. By being more concise, your writing will not only be easier to understand, but will be less of a hassle for the audience to go through, therefore increasing their interest and sense of immersion.

In order to avoid being too verbose, try eliminating unnecessary words. Avoid common mistakes, like redundancies, excessive clarifications, exaggerated embellishing or literary crutches. An author’s goal is to get their ideas across by employing the appropriate vocabulary while making their work as concise as possible.

    The goal of today’s game will be to simply the given statements, while still keeping the message clear.


  1. Below you will find 10 generic phrases to work with.
  2. For each phrase, write a shorter, concise version.


Phrase: The reason why he came to Joe’s Diner was because the coffee wasn’t bad and the food was inexpensive in price.
Answer: He came to Joe’s Diner because the coffee was decent and the food inexpensive.


Phrase: Despite the fact that he was feeling ill, his first priority was making his way to work as quickly as possible.

Phrase: The magic spells he casted were rendered null and void by his opponents counter attack.

Phrase: This was not the first time this incident occurred, it was reported multiple times before.

Phrase: The very expensive cargo was moved and placed into the moving vans by the workers.

Phrase: The building had been completely destroyed by fire, having results that cost people a lot of money.

Phrase: She told him in a loud angry voice that the door of the car was still open.

Phrase: He came to the conclusion that the victim's body had fallen through the window of the house.

Phrase: During the experiment, he poured liquid in a beaker, boiled the contents for 5 minutes, and measured what was left.

Phrase: Because of the fact that the children were tired and exhausted, he came to the conclusion that they needed the night off.

Phrase: Several years after the town was founded, it was abandoned. The reason why was because the local factory closed, causing people to lose their jobs.

If anyone is interested in sharing their entries, feel free to post them as a reply to this article, or send them to me privately. I may create a page for submissions in the future for those who are willing to have their work shared.

Hope you have fun giving this exercise a try. Until next time!


Patrick Osborne